Insider Trading: Christmas at Oliver Brown

Here’s a fact. ‘Factoids’ aren’t true. Honestly, you can look it up. ‘An item of unreliable information that is reported and repeated so often that it becomes accepted as fact’ it will say. (Unless you look in an American dictionary - whereupon you will find that factoids are indeed facts, which would explains rather a lot, an uncharitable mind might conclude).

Here’s another fact: of all the people in all the world (with the Right Honourables being the Right Honourable exceptions) no class of individual is more full of untruths than schoolmasters and schoolmistresses. There can be few of us who have not been told some absolute whoppers by members of staff - although, granted, it seems unlikely given the average adult’s grasp of calculus or cellular biology that many of us were paying much attention at the time.

Like the one about ‘something-something-something being equal to the square of the other two sides’. Or the idea that people who work in chocolate factories get so fed up with chocolate that they can’t stand it any more. That last one’s the most errant nonsense. Why, one might by that logic conclude that bar-staff are misanthropic tee-totallers rather than the gregarious, happily dissolute band of brothers and sisters that they, in reality, are.

Or, for that matter, that the staff at Oliver Brown aren’t itching to get their hands on some of the shop’s supply. So by way of inspiration for anybody who is having a bit of a blank when it comes to Christmas shopping, here is what each of us would like to find under the tree – and why.

Kristian Robson (Proprietor) navy-olive.jpg_1 Reversible Cashmere Gilet: ‘It’s the most versatile piece - it can be worn dressed up for town or dressed down for the country. It’s warm in winter and also comes in the most complimenting of colourways.’ Robert Shaw (Customer Service Executive) garforth_tweed_hat_brown_1_3 Tweed Cap: ‘This is just as good for town or country during the cold weather. Also, it’s suitable for all ages so it’s a perfect, timeless piece.’ Juan Carlos (Head Tailor) cashmere-teba-jacket-bordeaux The Teba: ‘There’s nobody at Oliver Brown who doesn’t want to find one of these with their name on it. It’s new to our collection, and perfect for any bespoke connoisseur!’ Richard Fuller (Retail Manager) princeofwales_cashmeremix_shirt_grey_1 Cashmere Blend Shirts: ‘Very simply, you can’t get a more luxurious second skin.’ Kaylie Bloxham (PR) single_breasted_frogged_smoking_jacket_navy_1 Single-Breasted Smoking Jackets, with Frogging in navy: ‘Everyone needs an injection of velvet opulence to their Christmas wardrobe and this smoking jacket provides exactly that; the perfect jacket for party season!’